Triggered in Training asks:
Dear Tattood Buddhist:
How do we train our minds to turn off the triggers when we start to let someone else's negativity into our hearts and minds? Tattood Buddhist, can you help me erase the target on my heart?
Tattood Buddhist responds to Triggered in Training:
I am reminded of those cartoons where the arrow finds its target, makes that sproinging noise, and then the suction cup on the business end of the arrow “schmucks” itself to the cartoon character’s face or foot or the top of his head! Good for a giggle any day of the week!
It seems that you, like our hapless Toon, are endlessly tugging at that arrow, that is stuck like tentacles to your heart! (Can you hear the squishy, squeaking sound?) Girlfriend! Don’t you know that you are the one painting that Target on your Heart?
Let’s discuss. You gotta learn to recognise the signs that some flying arrow of negativity has found its target. Whether you get blue, or melt into a little puddle, or simply go wobbly, these are your clues that your bullseye has been found. (Insert giant detective’s magnifying glass here.) It helps to identify the arrow that hit you. But more importantly, follow that wobbly, blue puddley feeling to the Target itself -- the most potent discovery -- what does the target look like?
Now that you know your target, you have your finger on your own trigger! You have won the battle. But you still have to finish the fight! The secret to eliminating Triggers is to uncover the wound that created them. A Trigger is a Trauma wrapped in a Wound, creating an enigma for your Psyche to unravel. Once you have unwound that wounded part, you begin to neutralize the ability for the Arrow to find its target!
Your single most effective neutralizer is to whisper the sweet, soothing Truth to your wounded Self, each and every time it signals its need. Give it a Love reality check!
Now, sometimes, we get hit with a “Time Bomb” -- you know, those sneaky little comments or actions that don’t start causing havock for hours or even days later? Don’t sweat it and definitely don’t beat yourself up, Girlfriend. Just go back to your Bomb Defusing Truth and repeat until you feel better.
One more little battle strategy, my dear. Don’t give these folks so much power. Relax, Sistah! If someone you know or love is lobbing arrows and bombs at you, they are in a world of hurt. The more of a pain these folks are, the more pain we know they are in. You don’t have to take their pain on as yours. Love ‘em when you can and then leave them be. Love is the best offense and the best defense you have.
Tattood Buddhist says, You can take the target off your own Heart! Let’s skip the target practice and head out for a yummy Trigger Fish dinner! My treat!